Only Human
by natashamariell
Summary: Some part of him wanted to believe that the way she looked at him, that ‘I want you’ look wasn’t all in his head. The way her brown eyes met his grey ones... it couldn’t be all in his head... It just couldn’t be. Justin-centric
1. prologue

**ONLY HUMAN. **

Rating- M (for future chapters and some language.)

Pairing – Justin&Alex

**SUMMARY **– Some part of him wanted to believe that the way she looked at him, (that 'I want you' look) wasn't all in his head. The way her brown eyes met his grey ones... it couldn't be all in his head... It just couldn't be. Justin-centric.

* * *

**PROLOGUE.**

They say the road to hell was paved with good intentions.

Well, Justin Russo certainly always had the best intentions when it came to his younger sister Alex... He really did.

He just wanted the best for her.

He wanted to protect her (from _greasy_ _mechanics_ and stupid _British_ accents.)

He wanted to be there for her (he didn't really have a choice the majority of the time.)

He wanted… _her_.

-

He lived for bailing her out of trouble (and Alex Russo got herself into A LOT of trouble.)

He lived for her big brown eyes and the way they sparked when she begged (every time... every fucking time... he caved.)

He lived for the way the corners of her mouth formed into a smirk whenever she got a "brilliant" idea (that he more than likely disapproved of)

He lived for... _Her_.

-

He's not sure when exactly things changed between them.

Perhaps it all started with a certain family vacation to the Bahamas.

Alex and magic in the same equation could NEVER amount to a good thing. But really?! Making their parents forget who they were? Justin could go on and on about how (he wished he would of thought of it himself) irresponsible it was, even for Alex standards.

The campfire. Holding her in his arms, as they drifted off to sleep under the stars (why were they trying to fix things again? This felt perfectly fine to him.)

The stone of dreams. It's all a blur for him really. Bits and pieces of moments. It was easier then.. Easier to have feelings for her and not feel ashamed (after all, they could have _died _in that cave.)

Technically in that moment they didn't exist.

The sibling title wasn't hanging over them.

They weren't Justin and Alex Russo. They were just two people. Two non-existent people.

He could have kissed her right then and there. For once in Justin's life he could have taken a chance. For once he could have acted on impulse.

It would have been so easy to lean in and close the gap between them (Her lips... so inviting) But he didn't.

He didn't kiss her.

Even in the face of death he didn't allow himself to be anybody other than Justin Russo... Straight A student... Never missed a day of school in his life... Over achiever... Keener... Responsible wizard...

Justin Russo. Coward.

-

The wizard competition. Her winning. Him forgetting… everything. How could he have, even for a second forgotten who she was?

His beautiful, loving, artistic, carefree, little _si-_ Alex. _His_ Alex.

She looked so angelic and innocent crying in front of him. Although he didn't remember who she was, he knew that he never wanted to see this beautiful girl cry again.

He vowed from that moment on, that he'd never leave her.

Ever.

-

On the surface it may seem as though these feelings started in the Bahamas and followed Justin home. But no, he knew better than that.

Somewhere between hugs that lasted a minute too long... Magic lessons in the Lair that she made it her mission to distract him from (this_ of course_, went unnoticed by their dad and especially Max) … Getting _way _too involved in each other's love lives (He swears by the tenth '_mcreary time reary'_ in a row, he saw _her_ face, not Miranda's.) … Play fighting where she (_somehow_) ended up on top of him – He fell for her.

He fell completely and hopelessly in love with his seventeen year old sister. His one hundred percent blood related, seventeen year old sister.

To say Justin was disgusted with himself would be the understatement of the _century_.

-

To make matters worst, Alex was in love with somebody else.

She was hung up over another guy... heartbroken over her British, douche bag (_werewolf_) of a former boyfriend.

And Justin was (_suppose to be_) hung up over Juliet. But in reality, he was relieved. Relieved that Juliet didn't demand_ he_ put on the heart necklace too. Justin knew for a fact it wouldn't glow... not even a flicker .

-

Sure, Juliet was beautiful. (_Dead_) but beautiful.

He could tolerate her scent of lavender mixed with death... she was incredibly sweet. He had fun with her even.

He told himself he'd grow to love her.

Sure, she was as old as _Moses _… and sure he wasn't in love with her (He was _irrevocably_ in love with his little _si_- Alex. _His Alex._ ) But still, it could have worked.

It _should _have worked.

"_She wasn't Alex."_ Justin reminded himself.

Keeping up appearances was exhausting.

It was hard to wrap his head around.

How could he not read into things? He was always her shoulder to lean on (the way her head fit _perfectly_ into the crook of his neck,) … How could he not feel this way?

I mean, they didn't have have an average sibling relationship.. they were wizards for fucks sake! (_"Promise me we'll find normal people." "Were not normal people.") _

_-_

Where the hell would he be without this girl? (Devoured by_ monsters or mummies_ ...)

He knew it was wrong and sick and fucking disgusting... (_But so right_...)

What would she think of him if she knew the thoughts he had? (Her body... and he dreamt of having his way with her for _far _too long...)

What would their parents think?!

There was no doubt in his mind that he'd get shipped off to an institution for the mentally disturbed. They would lock him up and throw away the key.

But yet…

Some part of him wanted to believe that the way she looked at him, (that _'I want you'_ look) wasn't all in his head. The way her brown eyes met his grey ones... it couldn't be all in his head... It just couldn't be.

-

She cried in Justin's arms every night for months. Mason was running around _howling_ at the moon while she fucking cried her eyes out.

Perfect… Just fucking perfect.

He had to stand idly by and watch as these tools broke her heart one by one… Mason being the worst by far.

Justin was always there to pick up the pieces… like the good (disturbed) big brother that he was.

He consoled her over and over again, wiping away her tears. _"You'll find somebody way better, someone who will NEVER leave you."_ Justin whispered in the darkness. He held her close... _possessively_. She seemed to relax in his arms... every time.

It wasn't a lie. Justin would damn sure never leave her. He would protect her until the day that he died...

But how could he protect her from _himself_?

-

**A/N**, I finally watched Wizards vs. Werewolf's and I'm newly inspired :D This is just the prologue… I tried to spell check over and over again and i proof read a billion times.. but I know that i may have missed some grammatical errors here and there. If anybody wants to be my beta-reader I'll be more than appreciative.

**R&R.**

Ideas, criticism and even flames are more than welcome. the faster you** R&R**.. the faster I update..


	2. Insomnia

**A/N:** Thanks so much for all the reviews :D They honestly are my fuel.

* * *

**Chapter One -- Insomnia**

_See my head aches from all this thinkin'  
Feels like a ship God, God knows I'm sinkin'  
_

As I lie awake in bed, the only audible sound is Alex's snoring next to me (I actually find her obnoxious snoring to be kind of ... _sexy_ ) I belong in a mental institution.. clearly.

Her dark, messy hair is all over the place... consuming my sheets. It smells like vanilla and a hint of strawberries. But I digress..

It's three in the morning. I haven't slept at all. Apparently my brain things it's time to run wild with thoughts... And God dammit if her skin brushes against mine one more time , I won't be held responsible for my actions.

This beautiful... frustrating girl ... The girl I want more than anything (more than being the family wizard) is laying next to me ... in all her unattainable glory.

I _should_ be used to this by now.

It's been four months. Four months since _"the incident"_ (as I now refer to it).

She claims to be feeling a lot better and as the days go by, she's mentioning Ma--_The 'M" word_, less and less. I don't mention Juliet at all... It's better this way. Better for everybody.

Harper thinks it's great progress, I have to agree. Although the pained look in Alex's eyes whenever Max 'accidently' brings _Wolff boy_ up, doesn't go unnoticed by me.

One day at a time I suppose...

Alex has slept in my bed every night for the duration of four months (and every night my mind seems to be more interested in the anatomy of her body than actual sleep.) But honestly, she could be wearing a fucking garbage bag and I'd still get turned on... (resulting in a lot of cold showers) I think we have the metal institution bit covered...

Her tears have seized but still she comes every night.

We sleep and only sleep. I don't question her motives.. At least not out loud.

It's become like an unspoken agreement between us.

"Justin," Alex whispers, interrupting me from my thoughts. "Are you awake?"

Of course I'm awake... I've become a fucking _insomniac_.

I sigh turning to face her, "Yeah. I can't sleep for some reason." _She_ was the reason. But I wasn't about to tell her that.

"Why not?" She asks, a yawn escaping from her mouth.

"You know, just a lot on my mind I guess." I say.

The last thing I need is her worrying about me.. or my _self inflicted_ insomnia.

Maybe I should invest in some sleeping pills? Or perhaps there's a spell that can help... While I'm at it, maybe there's a spell to cure my _sickness _all together.

But that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

"Yeah I know what you mean. " She says quietly. "I can't sleep either." Her body shifts _closer_ to mine (if _humanly_ possible) . Her hair briefly brushes against my nose .. _vanilla and strawberries_.. Mmm..

"Really? Cause you've been snoring nonstop for like... hours." I tease.

She gasps over dramatically and hits me playfully in the stomach. I cringe in mock pain (Alex couldn't hurt a fly... Really she couldn't.)

"You hit like a girl." I say.

"Well in my defense, I am a girl. " She reasons. "And shut up, I do _not_ snore!" She exclaims, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Um you do too. It's like nails on a damn chalk board!" I tell her.

This is the kind of banter that defines us.

Alex frowns, clearly offended. But before I can say 'just kidding' , her expression changes into a smirk. Her _infamous _smirk. Nothing good can come from her smirking this way. "Well you babble like an idiot in your sleep!" She fires back.

I automatically tense. "I do not." Do I?

"You do too." She insists, as if reading my mind.

"Do not!" I say back, all too quickly.

"Do too."

"Do not."

What are we _six _now?

She clears her throat, as if preparing for a demonstration. I raise my eyebrows in suspicion.

"Oh my God, your so fucking beautiful! I love you! I want to _fuck_ the shit out of you!" Alex imitates in a husky voice, grunting for _added _effect.

I'm suddenly grateful for the lack of light in this room because my face is burning up. This can only mean one thing... I'm _blushing_. I'm blushing like a fucking pansy.

"I don't know what you're talking about Alex. You have a _overactive_ imagination..." Damn my voice for cracking mid sentence. Dammit!

She giggles. "Relax Justin. It's perfectly normal for you to have dreams about Juliet of the _erotic _nature. "

JULIET?! She thinks I dream about Juliet... in_ that_ way?

'Well you're a pervert for listening." I say lamely, regaining my voice at last.

Really? That's the best I can come up with? I'm pathetic.

She's laughing now... She's full on laughing -- In my face.

This girl will be the _death_ of me I swear.

"Yeah well, it's hard not to listen when your like an inch away from my ear. " She says mater-of-factually , shrugging her shoulders.

How could she be so nonchalant about this?

'Well you _do_ have your own room you know... with a perfectly good bed. Maybe you should try sleeping in it for once." I say. But once the words leave my mouth, I instantly regret saying them.

I could see her flinch, even in the darkness of my bedroom.

I broke the silent agreement. That was the first time in four months that our current sleeping arrangement was pointed out.

Leave it to me to make things awkward between us.

But for argument's sake, I'm an awkward guy. It's my M.O. to ruin a good thing.

"Your right.." She finally speaks. "Maybe I should sleep in my own room for the rest of the night... and every night from now on." She trails off as if pondering her next sentence. "I mean you've been a great brother to me... " It was my turn to flinch. The _'B'_ word. I dreaded hearing it a hundred times more than the _'M_' word. "But I'm over Ma--_ him_ . I don't need you to protect me anymore." She adds, pulling the covers off of her.

I open my mouth to speak but she cuts me off. "I appreciate you being here for me Justin... I really do." And just like that she was gone from my bed and gone from my room.

Maybe this is exactly what we needed. Some normalcy... It took an awkward moment to snap us out of whatever _this_ has been for the past four months.

Maybe this is all for the best.

Science is against us. Society is against us. God is against us...

Who am I kidding? _Normal_ went out the window a long time ago.

-

**R&R**


	3. The Truth

Chapter Two -** The Truth**

I carefully make my way over to her bedroom. My heart beating uncontrollably with each step.

But somehow, my feet keep moving.

What if I make things worst between us? I'm not exactly known for saying the right things .

In fact, I'm known for saying all the WRONG things .

All the time.

I make awkward situations _even more_ awkward.

Which would be fine in any other circumstance. But this is my _little_ _si_- Alex.

She's known for laughing in my face during serious moments. Why would this be any different?

I'm impulsive, as you can see.

I over think EVERYTHING.

But I can't over think what I'm about to do. If I think about it I'll lose my nerve.

So I won't. Justin's sanity has left the building.

Her door is slightly ajar. Her light is on, and I can hear the faint sound of music.

I guess she's still awake. Which is shocking, considering 'sleep' is Alex's middle name.

We BOTH have 10am shifts at the substation. A shift I'm going to be a zombie for.

It just hit me... What the fuck am I even going to say? This whole running after Alex thing? Yeah well it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I slowly push the door open. My heart feels like it's going to rip out of it's socket.

I see Alex clearly, she's sitting on her bed -- Indian style, with her laptop on her lap.

Her headphones are in her ears and she's nodding along to 'Mr Brightside' by the Killers.

If I wasn't so fucking nervous I'd laugh about how ridiculous she looks. But this isn't a laughing matter ... No not at all...

Okay, maybe one day we'll laugh about this. When were married ... vacationing in our beach house (in the Bahamas) ... with our (slightly retarded) but promising children. Maybe. Okay, I'm sorry, that wasn't funny. _Focus_ Justin!

Alex looks up briefly from her laptop and practically jumps across the room when she sees me.

"Justin , what the hell!" She whisper shouts, taking the headphones out of her ears .

Yes, what the hell _indeed_.

I sigh inwardly, take a seat on her bed and cradle my head in my hands -- contemplating my next move.

This was a bad idea. A _very_ bad idea.

I could feel the tiny beads of sweat start to form on my forehead . Wonderful. Just fucking wonderful. I'm going to be all sweaty before I even muster a word.

It was never this difficult telling Juliet I loved her (I didn't mean it) but still ... It was simple.

Completely easy. The words just flowed right out of my mouth.

But with Alex... It's a complete _mind fuck_.

What are my options?

Option number one. Well, I could just run out that door and never look back ...forgetting this whole debacle ever happened . Chalk it up to sleep walking.

Option number two. I could just blurt out my feelings , cry 'sanity crisis' and avoid Alex until graduation... attend college far , far away (I hear California's beautiful) ....

Option number three. I could stay right where I am. My sister's bedroom ...Four in the morning... and tell her how I really feel. Be a man about it and just look her in the eyes and tell her how I really feel.

Maybe if I'm lucky she'll feel the same way . What are the odds?

I am so screwed. Either way.

"Justin... What is it?" Alex asks , her voice uneasy . I could feel her eyes burning a hole in my back .

I remain silent . I feel the words in my throat but the task of actually speaking feels next to impossible . I never knew I was capable of not knowing

what to do. I always know what to do. I'm always running to Alex's rescue and rationalizing . But at the moment, I feel like nothing ever mattered up until this point. Like time is standing still. Way to be absolutely cliché Justin.

Sighing, I remove my hands from my face and make eye contact with her... her brown eyes meeting my grey ones for I don't even know ( the millionth time) since I've known her... There's an intense feeling running through my viens. It feels like home.

I love her . I know I do . How could anybody not love this

charismatic, beautiful creature ...

"Alex I--" I don't have the balls to continue. I reluctantly break eye contact with her. What if she hates me when this is all over? What if she can't bare the site of me?

"You what?" I could tell she was getting impatient. I didn't have to look at her again to know she was doing that fidgety thing she does with her hands. I know this girl too well.

I racked my brain for something ... anything useful. A spell?

Dad doesn't exactly teach lessons in how to confess your undying' love' for your sister.

But if there's even a possibility that she could feel the same way then I should go for it right?

I just have to know.

"Justin what the fuck?!" Alex exclaims . "Spit it out."

"Were in over our head ... please make our words truthfully said." I closed my eyes and recited the spell .

There was no turning back. When I tell her I love her, she's either going to feel the same way or not feel the same way. No in between. Just the truth.

No more thinking Justin. This is it.

"Alex I --" I start again, but I'm cut off.

"I've been seeing Mason ." Alex blurts out .

What the fuck?! What in the actual fuck. Did I just hear her correctly?

I can't believe this . I can't fucking believe this .

"What?!" I shout , standing up from the bed .

So much for a damn truth spell.

-

**Author's Note :** I'm sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I've been swamped with work. But I appreciate all my reviewers. I don't know if you all will like the direction I took this story in, but I consider this more of a filler chapter. I have some interesting ideas for this story. So please **R&R.** The faster you do, the faster I update. Scout's honor.


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